4 Signs its Time to Quit your Job

4 Signs it's Time to Quit your Job These are extreme financial occasions we're living in and employments are hard to find, so it very well may be particularly hard to end up in a position where you are miserable to the point of pondering stopping. On the off chance that you quit, you probably won't have the option to discover another position rapidly enough or the following spot could be far and away more terrible. Notwithstanding, staying could introduce the same amount of a predicament given the conditions. The accompanying four signs are obvious pointers that it might be an ideal opportunity to begin investigating different possibilities and consider dumping your present place of employment unequivocally: 1. Simply the idea of going to work causes you to feel sick. You in all likelihood know the inclination, since it goes with any circumstance that is gotten insufferable for some explanation. You become ill to your stomach when it's the ideal opportunity for work. Perhaps you even regurgitation or experience looseness of the bowels and other physical indications all the time in view of occupation stress. Numerous individuals get cerebral pains or even headaches when they consider a vocation that is outlasted its convenience. No activity should cause you to feel debilitated at the simple idea of being there; in this way, if yours does, that is an indication that something needs to change. 2. You wind up continually making jokes and shooting jokes about leaving your place of employment or terminating your chief. We're not discussing now and again eitherâ€"progressively like constantly. Some of the time amusingness can be a protection instrument that shrouds a more profound, progressively genuine degree of disappointment with a given circumstance. In the event that you inevitably get yourself not just kidding progressively about leaving your place of employment yet whining decisively about it to pretty much anybody who'll tune in, it may be a great opportunity to fly the coop. 3. Your heart's only not in it any longer. Possibly you're making a ton of thoughtless mistakes at work that is dislike you to make. Perhaps you're discovering yourself investing increasingly more energy staring off into space when you truly should be working. Here and there individuals even arrive at a spot where their manager has formally seen that they simply don't appear to mind any longer. Whatever the case might be, this is typically a definite pointer that perhaps your activity has outlasted its convenience and that you'd be in an ideal situation finding a place that is all the more animating. 4. You continue getting ignored for raises, advancements, or better chances. In some cases a given position can simply start to feel unpleasant in each feeling of the word. You could well be buckling down, doing everything that is anticipated from you in addition to going the additional mile, yet at the same time not so much be perceived for all that you do. You never appear to be the person up for advancement or being extended to a raise for an employment opportunity very much done. Perhaps there simply isn't a lot of chance for headway at the organization where you work. Whatever the case, it might be a great opportunity to consider leaving in the event that you simply don't feel like there's a spot for you to develop at your particular employment.

How a Resume Writing Service for Career Changes Can Help You

<h1>How a Resume Writing Service for Career Changes Can Help You</h1><p>If you are looking for vocation changes or are scanning for a lifelong change in your present place of employment, it is critical to discover a resume composing administration for profession changes. A resume administration for profession changes will get your resume to the organization that you are applying to by utilizing one of the two strategies: on the web or disconnected accommodation. The principal technique is the least demanding however requires the most work.</p><p></p><p>One advantage of utilizing a resume administration for vocation changes is that they will present your resume to the organization you are applying to. This permits the customer to view your resume before you send it. In the event that the resume is elegantly composed and incorporates what the business is searching for, the business will get in touch with you legitimately. This will permit the e mploying director to talk with you for the position.</p><p></p><p>The second strategy for presenting your resume is called disconnected accommodation. This doesn't require the utilization of a resume composing administration for vocation changes. The resume will be sent to the organization that you are applying to on your behalf.</p><p></p><p>Many proficient resume administrations for profession changes offer the two strategies as a major aspect of their administrations. The more alternatives you have, the better your odds are of landing the position. This implies you can pick which strategy works best for you. It is imperative to keep your activity and your application letter from going unnoticed.</p><p></p><p>You might need to consider sending your resume by means of email. A resume administration for vocation changes will have the option to email your resume to the organization straightforwardly. You won't ha ve to stress over composing an introductory letter and you can be certain that the organization gets your resume.</p><p></p><p>As an obvious reality, numerous expert resume administrations for vocation changes offer online accommodation as a major aspect of their administrations. When you have finished the online application, you will be given the alternative to present your resume utilizing the organization's site. Your resume will be messaged straightforwardly to the company.</p><p></p><p>Using a resume composing administration for profession changes isn't troublesome on the off chance that you realize how to utilize them. You can become independently employed by utilizing the administration just because and increase understanding while at the same time working in your extra time. It is anything but difficult to pursue a help and start a vocation change.</p><p></p><p>Keep as a main priority that an expert resu me administration for profession changes isn't required by any organization. You should step up to the plate and deal with your resume yourself. The prizes can be colossal on the off chance that you can effectively make a profession change.</p>

Using Resume Header Examples

Using Resume Header ExamplesResume header examples will show you what not to do. Instead of getting this, read on.Everyone has their own style when it comes to writing a resume and some people are not used to writing for a particular job and type of job. If you are one of those people that have the problem of not knowing how to do this properly and for a certain type of job, then you can use resume header examples.If you are still wondering why so many companies are using these resume header examples, then you are in the right place. This is because the main goal of using this method is to make sure that the employers can easily find your work history and previous work experience.Also, it can actually be a waste of time if you do not know what these resume headers are. Because there are different types of resumes that are needed for different jobs and it would be much better if you know what these are all about before you begin writing your resume.The real reason why this is necessar y is because employers do not want their candidates to be distracted while they are reading the resume. Because of this, they will be able to see what is in the resume and you can get out of the line of vision.Also, it will help a lot if you have some current or previous job experience with the same company and the same area. As long as you do not have to rewrite everything since most resume examples will show you how to do this, you will have an easier time explaining what you have done and when you did it.When you get this information, you will also know how to write the experience section and also what to add into the career path for your jobs. This is something that is very important to remember because employers want to know what kind of person you are and how you were able to succeed at different jobs.With these resume header examples, you will be able to write a good resume without wasting your time. All you need to do is read through and learn all you can from them.

Job Search Assistance - The 5 Best Sites To Help You Land a Job

Quest for new employment Assistance - The 5 Best Sites To Help You Land a Job Spread the loveFinding work can absolutely be tedious and baffling. This makes many employment searchers search for quest for new employment help which can be as resume composing administrations, vocation training or other quest for new employment help services.The central issue is whether these administrations are extremely justified, despite all the trouble. Recruiting a profession coach can be over the top expensive. The cost of recruiting a profession mentor can run from $1000 $2,500 at the low end.Is it worth it?It might be for progressively experienced officials and those that are making a lifelong change yet for the normal occupation searcher its fair not worth it.We composed a decent post on when you ought to consider employing a vocation mentor here.So what would it be advisable for you to do?You should initially start by attempting to figure out what the issue is before searching out pursuit of employment assistance.Are you not getting reactions or meeting demands? At that point its likely that your resume or potentially LinkedIn needs some improvement.Not hearing back after interviews? Then you may need to improve your talking skills.Are you experiencing issues discovering positions youre qualified for? At that point you might be looking in an inappropriate places.Most quest for new employment specialists concur that the best and cheap help work searchers ought to consider is an expert resume revamp. Your resume is the most significant record for your pursuit of employment and guaranteeing its cleaned and upgraded for present day continue scanners most organizations use will probably land you more interviews.Here are a few locales and administrations that can assist you with getting a new line of work or improve your resume, LinkedIn and meeting skills:Top Job Search Assistance Services#1 ZipJobResume Writing ServicesZipjob is a resume composing administration that utilizes proficient scholars and innovation to guarantee your resume gets took note. Most organizations utilize an ATS which consequently screens resumes to check whether youre a solid match for the position. Almost 75% of resumes are naturally dismissed by the product and commonly the applicant is qualified however the resume isnt optimized.Zipjob gives an expert resume modify and utilizes similar ATS innovation most businesses use today to ensure your resume is being perused correctly.Visit Zipjob.com#2 IndeedJob SearchIndeed is the universes biggest quest for new employment site and one each occupation searcher ought to be on. You ought to likewise make a record and transfer your resume to have employing supervisors and selection representatives discover you. For sure is a vocation board aggregator so you can secure numerous positions that are recorded on other occupation sheets all through the Indeed stage. (Consider it like Google for work search)Visit Indeed.com#3 BigInterviewInterview AssistanceOkay this isnt truly pursuit of employment help yet its something many occupation searchers battle with and it might be costing the activity. Biginterview contains numerous advisers for help you through any phase of the meeting. They likewise have many example inquiries questions and answers you can peruse for free.Visit Biginterview#4 LinkedInJob SearchThis is presumably the most significant profession related site that each activity searcher ought to be on. Ensure youre on LinkedIn and your profile is polished. Ensure that you have an expert picture, a great measure of associations and that your profile is watchword improved so businesses and selection representatives can discover you.You can likewise take a stab at looking LinkedIn for spotters and talent scouts that have practical experience in your industry.Visit LinkedIn#5 The MuseCareer CoachThe Muse is a well known vocation and quest for new employment related site which also has an enormous foundation of profession mentors you can interface with. Recollect that a profession mentor is cos tly and should just be considered if all else fails or for significant level officials or those creation extraordinary career changes.Visit The MuseClosing ThoughtsMany would approach cant you simply pay for somebody to assist you with getting a new line of work? it just doesnt work that way. You can, in any case, use administrations to help improve your resume, LinkedIn and meeting aptitudes. You ought to likewise be scanning for employments in the correct spots (LinkedIn and Indeed).Good karma with your pursuit of employment! Quest for new employment Assistance - The 5 Best Sites To Help You Land a Job Spread the loveFinding a vocation can positively be tedious and baffling. This makes many employment searchers search for pursuit of employment help which can be as resume composing administrations, profession training or other quest for new employment help services.The unavoidable issue is whether these administrations are extremely justified, despite all the trouble. Employing a profession coach can be over the top expensive. The cost of employing a profession mentor can extend from $1000 $2,500 at the low end.Is it worth it?It might be for increasingly experienced administrators and those that are making a lifelong change yet for the normal occupation searcher its fair not worth it.We composed a decent post on when you ought to consider recruiting a vocation mentor here.So what would it be a good idea for you to do?You should initially start by attempting to figure out what the issue is before searching out quest for new employment assistance.Are you not accepting reactions or mee ting demands? At that point its likely that your resume as well as LinkedIn needs some improvement.Not hearing back after interviews? Then you may need to improve your meeting skills.Are you experiencing issues discovering positions youre qualified for? At that point you might be looking in an inappropriate places.Most quest for new employment specialists concur that the best and reasonable assistance work searchers ought to consider is an expert resume rework. Your resume is the most significant record for your pursuit of employment and guaranteeing its cleaned and advanced for present day continue scanners most organizations use will probably land you more interviews.Here are a few destinations and administrations that can assist you with getting a new line of work or improve your resume, LinkedIn and talking skills:Top Job Search Assistance Services#1 ZipJobResume Writing ServicesZipjob is a resume composing administration that utilizes proficient journalists and innovation to g uarantee your resume gets took note. Most organizations utilize an ATS which consequently screens resumes to check whether youre a solid match for the position. Almost 75% of resumes are naturally dismissed by the product and ordinarily the applicant is qualified however the resume isnt optimized.Zipjob gives an expert resume revise and uses similar ATS innovation most managers use today to ensure your resume is being perused correctly.Visit Zipjob.com#2 IndeedJob SearchIndeed is the universes biggest quest for new employment site and one each occupation searcher ought to be on. You ought to likewise make a record and transfer your resume to have employing directors and selection representatives discover you. In fact is an occupation board aggregator so you can secure numerous positions that are recorded on other employment sheets all through the Indeed stage. (Consider it like Google for work search)Visit Indeed.com#3 BigInterviewInterview AssistanceOkay this isnt truly pursuit of employment help yet its something many occupation searchers battle with and it might be costing the activity. Biginterview contains numerous advisers for help you through any phase of the meeting. They additionally have many example inquiries questions and answers you can peruse for free.Visit Biginterview#4 LinkedInJob SearchThis is presumably the most significant vocation related site that each activity searcher ought to be on. Ensure youre on LinkedIn and your profile is polished. Ensure that you have an expert picture, a great measure of associations and that your profile is catchphrase advanced so managers and enrollment specialists can discover you.You can likewise have a go at scanning LinkedIn for scouts and talent scouts that have some expertise in your industry.Visit LinkedIn#5 The MuseCareer CoachThe Muse is a mainstream vocation and quest for new employment related site which also has an enormous foundation of profession mentors you can interface with. Recall that a prof ession mentor is costly and should just be considered if all else fails or for significant level officials or those creation uncommon career changes.Visit The MuseClosing ThoughtsMany would approach cant you simply pay for somebody to assist you with getting a new line of work? it just doesnt work that way. You can, be that as it may, use administrations to help improve your resume, LinkedIn and meeting abilities. You ought to likewise be looking for occupations in the correct spots (LinkedIn and Indeed).Good karma with your pursuit of employment!

Dont Be the Fruitcake of the Interview this Holiday Season

Don’t Be the Fruitcake of the Interview this Holiday Season The holidays are a fantastic time to revitalize your career search. As the year comes to a close, businesses are evaluating what their needs are, and with a surplus of charitable events and parties being hosted prospective applicants have new opportunities to network with their dream employers. When attending these festive functions and getting to meet the president or manager of X, Y, Z business, be careful not to be the fruitcake of this informal interview. The definition of a Fruitcake is a cake made with chopped candied fruit and/or dried fruit, nuts, and spices; sometimes soaked in spirits. The cultural understanding of a fruitcake, though, is a very different dessert. Johnny Carson, one time popular host of The Tonight Show, originated the joke that “there really is only one fruitcake in the world, passed from family to family,” due to its unsavoriness. Don’t fall into the career trap of being passed along by your potential employers by attending to these simple lessons learned from America’s most disdained dessert. 1) Don’t be cut from the same cloth be original and interesting: The number one problem with being given a fruitcake as a gift is the communicated lack of thought behind the action. It’s been a holiday tradition for over a century and now it is a cliché as dry as the cake itself. As a prospective employee don’t waste the opportunity to make an impression on your employer by being generic. How many times have you heard someone in an interview listing such skills as “team player”, “self starter”, or “multitasker”? These words are stale and fail to express the passion and expertise you can bring to a company. Success is taking a traditional idea or common practice and improving upon it, showing it in a new light. How about fruitcake mini-muffins? How about telling your prospective employer that instead of simply being a “team player” you are cognizant of the value of collaboration to build creativity and enforce positive office culture, then back it up with an example from your experiences. 2) Dress to impress the party: This advice feels like it should go without saying, but 53% of employers polled by CareerBuilder during the holiday season in 2013, said that job applicants failed to dress appropriately for the interview. That means that more than half of all applicants are showing up to interviews, even informal interviews like a professional party, covered in the fruitcake crumbs. Your appearance is your first message to the world that reveals time management skills, attention to detail, maturity, and responsibility. Humans are visually-fixated creatures, if your appearance is in disarray your employer is going to be distracted and may even be embarrassed to be seen speaking with you. Cue the fruitcake pass along. 3) Know your audience and atmosphere: If your dream is to work for a modern and innovative company like Apple, your potential employer is going to expect you to know everything possible about Apple’s history, products, brand, and corporate executives. When discussing your experiences, make reference to specifics about the company that are in line with your goals and knowledge. For example, Apple projects are all peer-vetted, meaning that their employees present every assignment they are working on to their coworkers for critique before moving forward.  As the prospective employee, knowing this would give you a tip off to emphasize a group pioneering mentality, rather than marking yourself as strictly a soloist. Every company is going to have at least a handful of culture identifiers you should be able to research online, and this will prepare you for the moment when its your turn during the interview to begin asking questions. Without having done your research first you will inevitably put your foot in your mouth, lik e giving a big slice of fruitcake to that potential employer who’s allergic to nuts… Happy holiday hunting to all; may your efforts be fruitful (just not fruitcake)! Author: John Giaimo is President of Software Resources, Inc. an IT Staffing Solutions firm. Founded in 1992, Software Resources is a privately held women-owned business enterprise (WBE).  

The Experts Guide to Influence and Persuasion

The Experts Guide to Influence and Persuasion How do you define marketing?  The dictionary says its: the action or business of promoting and selling products or services, including market research and advertising. A successful marketer goes beyond that; influencing, persuading and gently nudging people  to digest something  in a certain way. Let me introduce you to Dr. Robert Cialdini (if you havent already heard of him). He is the author of  Influence,  which focusses on what to put inside a message to move people in our direction. He also authored a follow-up book called Pre-Suasion, which is about the process of arranging your audience to be sympathetic to your message before they encounter it.  To help me learn the science behind it, I caught up with him to discuss his incredible insights on the power of persuasion and influence. Read on for a summary of our interview and make sure you subscribe to the Employer Branding Podcast. First of all, what are privileged moments? Privileged moments are the moments that we create immediately before we present an idea or proposal or recommendation so that people are attuned to that idea, recommendation, or proposal before they ever encounter it. And we do that by creating a mindset in them that is consistent with the goal of our message. How can marketers take full advantage of these? Here was a study that I like to talk about. It was done by some marketing researchers who walked up to individuals and asked them to participate in a marketing survey for no compensation, only 29% of them agreed to participate under those circumstances. But if the researcher first asked a pre-suasive question, Do you consider yourself a helpful person?, people thought for a moment and almost all of them said yes. Then the research said, Well, could you help us with our marketing survey? And now 77% agreed. So you can go from 29% to 77% assent, right? By changing the state of mind that people were in before you asked the question. Put them in mind of their helpfulness and they want to be helpful as a consequence, they want to be consistent with that view of themselves that youve now raised to consciousness. Should your USP be the first thing to read when people visit  your website? It should be.  Because weve just detailed in that clouds or coins study that that then channels their attention in a way subsequent that allows the rest of the site, right? To present its strongest elements. So you can focus people on a particular idea that may be your strength. Is your strength comfort? Is your strength cost? You can focus people on that material in a way that will make them recognize and process that information more quickly more deeply. Why would  online photographs of fluffy clouds help to sell furniture? This has to do with the way that weve moved recently into digital marketing, e-commerce, and so on. Of course someone who wants to use a pre-suasive moment to move people in a direction of their yet to be delivered message, right? Should recognize that the first thing a visitor sees to a website is the landing page, and probably the background images on that landing page. There was a study done in which an online furniture store sent half of its visitors, just as a test, to a landing page with the background wallpaper depicting fluffy clouds. They sent the other half to a landing page with background wallpaper depicting coins, money.  Those who saw the fluffy clouds in the background then rated comfort as the most important feature in selecting a piece of furniture, a sofa for example, right? They then searched the site for comfort-related features and ultimately preferred to purchase comfortable furniture. Those who were sent to the landing site with coins rated price as the most important feature, searched for cost-related aspects of the furniture, and preferred to purchase inexpensive furniture. So what occurred first before they were ever even introduced to the material and the details of the offerings themselves was that people were put in a mindset either for comfort or for cost that directed them subsequently into the material, caused them to search in a biased way through it, and become more inclined toward that initial concept that was installed in their mind pre-suasively at the very beginning of their contact with the site. Now theres one other thing thats interesting about that. No one recognized that they were influenced by the coins or the clouds. They said, Of course not, I decide based on my own preferences. Why can our perception of whats important be so easily shifted? So let me just say generally what this process is suggesting is if a communicator shifts a persons attention to a particular factor, that person sees that factor as more important than before because they are paying attention to it. Heres the logic. Normally what we do is to direct our attention to the most important factors, the most important features in our environment. Thats what we typically do. So when we see ourselves paying attention to a factor, we assume that it must warrant that attention, it must deserve that attention. Because normally when we attend to something, its to an important feature. We make the mistake of assuming that thats always the case. Because the communicator can send us to a particular factor and focus our attention there for reasons that have nothing to do with the merits of that thing. They can do it by illuminating some aspect of that factor that draws our attention. Distinctive colors, for example, will do that. Placement on a shelf can do that. Theres a study that shows that if you walk into a supermarket and there are three brands arrayed on the shelf, you will pay attention to the one in the center, and as a consequence be more likely to purchase the brand thats in the center. Thats why brands spend so much money to secure particular shelf space in supermarkets. They know that particular placement directs attention, and attention implies importance, and people then buy in a way thats congruent with the perceived importance of that brand. Can job hunters use pre-suasive techniques? Yeah. Well, when we go into a job interview, frequently theres an evaluator sitting across the table. Sometimes its a small team of evaluators, a panel. And we typically are trained to say, Well, thank you for bringing me here today, I want to answer all of your questions. Im going to recommend that before we launch into the interview we say one more thing, But Im curious, why did you invite me here today? What was it about my candidacy that attracted you to my application? And what you will find is they will then put themselves in a mindset of describing your strengths, what were the reasons that you were brought in, that your candidacy was seen to be attractive to this organization. Now when they go through the interview it will be with that mindset. I have an acquaintance who claims hes gotten three straight better jobs using that tactic. This applies to  sales meetings, too, where youre in competition with rivals and theyre coming in making presentations. You should ask ahead of time, Why did you select us to come in today? Follow Robert on Twitter @robertcialdini  make sure you subscribe to the Employer Branding Podcast.

The truth about good listening skills

The truth about good listening skills Powerful people do not have good listening skills. They hate to listen. They succeed by getting good at faking it. Heres how I know. There are sixteen Myers Briggs personality types. Only 4% of people are ENTJs, but almost all Fortune 500 CEOs are ENTJs. Each type has an Achilles heel. The ESFP  cant stand being alone. The INTP cant get their head out of the clouds. The ENTJ cant listen. Which means that listening skills must not be essential for major success in the corporate world. So maybe instead of building your listening skills, you should buy the book How to Talk so People Listen. If youre an extrovert, you think while youre talking. And its impossible to listen to someone if you are thinking of the next thing you want to say. As an ENTJ I get bored with the idea of becoming a better listener. Why would I do that when interrupting people is so much faster? And anyway, there is great advice on how to deal with the people who wont listen. Forbes magazine says that if you want people to listen to you, you should  cut to the chase. Thats great advice. If you could just get your idea out faster, I would listen to it. Ask Men has some advice on how to practice listening. We talk about practice a lot in my house because learning an instrument is about practicing an instrument.  You play like you practice. Even baseball stars like A-Rod. It doesnt matter if youre gifted if you dont have good practice skills because you wont be able to leverage your gifts. This seems true enough that I am sure I cant handle this level of conscious practice for good listening. So instead Im going to have to become the maven of the world of bad listeners. It is no coincidence that I married someone who is an ISTP, which is the personality type that speaks the fewest words each day. At first I found that frustrating, because how could I know if he is being persuaded by all my great ideas if he is always silent while Im talking? I realized, though, that he is great at figuring out whats going on by way of silence. I have tried silence, by the way. Ive started gardening. At first it was just some garden beds around the house. Then it was lots of garden beds. With a bulldozer. Then, when it got cold, I planted some bulbs, and then I planted about 500 bulbs a day. For months. I ordered bulbs online, in wholesale quantities, every other day so I always had some to plant. And when I was shopping locally, buying 500 more bulbs because I was scared Id run out,  someone said to me, Wow. Youll have an amazing garden next year.   I smiled and thought: If she only knew As it got cold, in the snow, the dirt was still soft. You can plant until the dirt freezes. Global warming is on my side. As the days got shorter  I planted bulbs in the dark until the night I was tearing apart grass to make my bed wider and I accidentally tore apart the carcass of a dead rabbit. I threw out my clothes and kept planting, but only in daylight after that. I started to worry that my artistry was gone. After all, its hard to not dig up bulbs when you are planting 15,000 bulbs. Which is about how many I have planted. In layers: early spring, mid spring, late spring. I told the Farmer I planted too many bulbs and people will think I have no talent for garden design. I told him that if it looks stupid and unplanned then I will tell people its a pick-your-own bouquet farm and Ill let the kids run it as a business in the spring. The Farmer said, This is not a garden; this is a monument to maintaining sanity. I was so surprised by his insight, but hes right. We never talked about it, I never even told him what I was doing day to day. But he sees that Im planting bulbs for some other reason than the spring fireworks. Its beyond that. Something else is driving me. We didnt need to talk. Which I guess is good because he doesnt really talk. I did a webinar last week where I taught people how to write about themselves, and then the last night the Farmer fielded live questions from the chat room about what its like to have someone write about you on a blog. I was nervous about the night he did the webinar with me. I was completely in control the other nights. Its my sweet spot, because we are sort of having a conversation because the chat room is always full of people saying stuff that I respond to. But also, people cant really talk to me because I really am lecturing, and I really just like to hear myself talk. Because its how I think. And we all need thinking time, right? So I worried that if the Farmer is taking the questions, then how will I control the conversation? My first line of attack was quizzing him. What would you say, I asked him, if someone said, doesnt it bother you that you are the Farmer instead of a real name? Thats so disrepectful. I actually get a reprimanding email once a month saying that. Which I do not listen to, of course, because Im a bad listener. So he said, Its fine that she calls me the Farmer but I cant believe it took her three years to use a capital F. The Ex got a capital right away. That was a good answer. I relaxed. Until the night it was scheduled. But you know what happened? I listened. He was so sweet and earnest and even when someone asked him What are the benefits of having someone blog about your relationship? He said None. There are no benefits. But I still kept quiet and listened. And heres what I discovered: its very intimate to listen to someone. Its intimate to calm down your head from ideas and just receive their ideas. You have to be really in tune with that person to keep your mind from going somewhere else. And its so intimate to wait to hear what the person says next. People were shocked to hear me so quiet. Me too. Because I wasnt thinking. I was listening. I was feeling what it feels like to have the Farmer reveal all our secrets. Thats usually my job. But this time I listened and it was like we were having date night. Live. I loved hearing what hes thinking, and I dont think hed have bothered talking if I hadnt shut up. Thats why intimacy requires listening. And thats why its so hard.